For someone who usually claims to be pretty organized, I am feeling like I can't remember anything. Take tomorrow for instance. It is Beach Day at Lee's pre school. Normally I would have remembered and would have been prepping Lee for how much fun it is going to be. Not this time. Had it not been for a verbal reminder and a handout with directions on it when I dropped him off on Wednesday I would have been clueless. Yet, there it was on my calendar and on my phone right where my old organized self had put it.
This has all come about with my Dad's death. I can't seem to get excited anymore. I can't seem to see a future with out him. I can only concentrate on what I am doing in the moment (and even that can be hard) and not prepare for the future. I know that this is all part of my grief process, but I feel like a million tiny shards of glass broken on the floor. I want to be able to put myself together, but I don't know how.
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